This week I have been visiting family on the opposite side of the country. Can I just say, its about time!, ?
I have missed them so much these last 5 years. So much changes so fast that you just feel like itll all be gone before you know it.
Luckily, my family never makes you feel out of place or like a freak stranger :-)
In just a few days I have gotten to meet and play with my cousins 'J's 2 babies (who were not even in the plans last time I was here!), briefly meet my cousin 'N's 2 new babies (making a grand total of 3), see my baby cousin 'H' turning into a beautiful young woman, go to a haunted graveyard, and go to the beautiful forest of North Carolina and watch people fling themselves down sliding rock (I did not partake.)
Every time I am here I feel such a peace. The peace you only feel when youre "home."
Family means everything to me. Everything.
________________________________
My grandma is very sick. The truth of the situation is that I will never see her again after I fly back home next week. Every time I look at her I am reminded of so many childhood memories, and of the fact that I am about to lose a very important part of my family.
I fear the affect this will have on my mom. I dont know how I am supposed to support her during this time. I especially dont know what I can possibly do to help her recover from the loss of her own mother.
Im scared of the changes it will bring to her; To our family. It will, without a doubt, change my mother. It will scar her very being; It already is. She already is facing her own aging and future mortality because of this situation.
So for now I will just savor the laughter, the peace, the memories........
