If you know me IRL, and especially if you spend time with me frequently, you know that I struggle a lot with my boy-child. A lot.
He has sensory input and anger issues. This translates into: 90% of the time he is yelling how much he hates you, being rude, being physically aggressive, throwing a tantrum, throwing objects, etc.
As a mom this tears me apart. To watch my baby act out such unhappiness is gut wrenching. And then I struggle because I react with annoyance and impatience.
Lately, amidst all of his fits he comes up to me several times a day with big ole puckered lips, "A kiss momma. I need a kiss! Youre the best mom ever! The best mom ive ever had! Youre the best momma, the best!I love you!"
Doesn't that just melt your heart? I get to experience this love several times each day :-)
He is generally pretty forceful (again, sensory input issues). so sometimes I react to that vs. to what he is telling me.
I look at my beautiful child. This child who loves me. Who thinks im his whole world. And I see what a fuck up I am.
I should be more patient. I should be more involved in play with him. I should criticize less.
Ive gotten so wrapped up in all the other drama and stress in my life that I allow it to affect my parenting. This must stop.
Being a parent is the single most important job I will ever have. I am solely responsible for shaping his self-esteem, how he responds to others, how he treats others, and most importantly, how he treats himself.
So today I will tell you this, my beautiful boy, you are the best! A mom could never wish to be so lucky as to have a son like you! You make my heart full with joy. Thank you for being my son!
